


The only living boy in New York

by KeepGoing



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec cant use his words, Alec comes to see Magnus, Alec is still unsure, Boys Kissing, Deep Conversations, M/M, Magnus has feelings too, Magnus is guarded, Magnus is patient, Magnus thinks Alec is the most adorable cinnamon roll, Post 1.13, Post Finale, alec is embarrased, unintentional orgams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-02 01:03:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6544162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeepGoing/pseuds/KeepGoing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“You stood here in this very spot and spewed accusations at me about how I flirt and use magic but I never really risk anything. But I do, Alexander. I did. I risked my heart. My future for you. I walked into your wedding ready to have my heart shattered into a million pieces. I never once believed I could actually have you.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The only living boy in New York

  
  
  
  
The buzz echoes through the loft and Magnus smiles to himself but feels his chest tighten at the sound. He knows it's Alec. And as happy as he is that this beautiful boy is yet again at his doorstep, the reason for his visit could be for one of many things. A lot has transpired over the course of 24 hours and it has left both of them reeling from different emotions. Magnus wishes, with all his powers, he was able to read the boy's mind. Because the way they left it in the hall, before Magnus was able to awaken Clary’s mother, has caused a pit in the bottom of Magnus’s stomach and an aching in his chest for hours. 

He left before he was able to speak to Alec again. He felt it was for the best. To give the Shadowhunter his space. To process what has happened to Jace. To process a little longer the choices he made when he stepped off that altar, away from his should-have-been bride and into the arms of a downworlder. To process the disapproval from his parents. To process what this means for him now. For them. To process the kiss Alec had witnessed between him and Camille. 

Alec deserved his time to decide what it is he wants to do from this point on, without the interference of Magnus. No matter how badly he just wants to take Alec back into his arms and kiss away the uncertainty. But for the first time in decades, Magnus doesn’t want to be selfish with his own wants and needs, instead giving the power to someone else. Someone else who now has the capacity to crush his heart and life with one simple fluid motion of walking back out of it as fast as he entered. 

So when the buzzer makes its way through the air into Magnus’s senses, it's sweet and bitter all in one simple melody. 

He doesn't answer. He just allows the door to be opened for the boy. Like it's been for a while now. Open. Welcoming. Allowing so much to seep through. 

He can hear Alec’s footsteps on the hardwood floor and it takes all the strength Magnus has not to look up at him when the sweet presence of innocence invades his space. 

“Magnus?”

Alec’s voice, always so pleasant to Magnus’s ears, sounds indecisive; like most things Alec does in his life. So unsure of himself when the boy, on the brink of being one of the most wonderful men Magnus has ever known, has nothing to be uncertain of. Strong, loyal...Magnus could spew out a thousand adjectives to describe the object of his affection. But now is not the time. It may never be.

“Alexander.”

Magnus is surprised by the uncertainty that flows from his own mouth. But when Alec’s eyes meet his from a few feet away as he stands next to the couch Magnus is lounging on, he realizes, why of course there is uncertainty. Look at this creature in front of him. With a worn sweater too big for his thin but defined frame. His hair sticking every which way from what Magnus can only think is from his long fingers mussing through it every 30 seconds on his way to Brooklyn. Alec is so beautiful at this moment it actually hurts to look at him. But Magnus can't tear his eyes away. 

“I..hey,” Alec breathes out. “This a bad time?”

“Just decompressing from the events that have transpired over the last few days.”

“I...heard about your friend. I’m sorry,” Alec says with compassion in his voice but a pained expression. Compassion is a new emotion for Alec. As is receiving it for Magnus. 

“Thank you,” Magnus pauses, searching Alec’s eyes for something more. “I’m sorry about Jace.”

“Clary is...a mess. I tried to stop him, but I suppose Jace needs to do this on his own. Figure out himself,” Alec shrugs but Magnus can see the worry and hurt on his face. 

“So you’re fine?”

Alec shrugs again. 

“Then may I ask what you are doing here?” Magnus tries his hardest not to sound flippant with the shadowhunter but his emotions are brewing at the surface and overflowing from his lips. 

Alec looks shocked at first by Magnus’s abruptness. “I...I guess I didn't want to be alone.”

“Well then, Mi Casa es Su Casa,” Magnus gives a wave of his hand and gestures for Alec to sit. 

“I mean, I can go. You don't seem…” 

“-Seem what?”

“Particularly happy that I’m even here,” Alec barks back. 

“I never said that,” Magnus states matter of factly. 

“You didn't have to,” Alec mumbles. “Maybe you’d rather someone else be here.”

And there it is. The thing that reminds Magnus just how young, how inexperienced, how innocent, Alec really is. 

Not that Magnus has never felt jealousy in his hundreds of years of living. He’s even felt it toward Jace and Alec. But this is Alec’s first...something. With anyone. Let alone a man, a warlock, who has had many loves and three times as many lovers. 

“Do you see anyone else here?”

Alec actually looks around and Magnus just smiles and shakes his head at the young man. 

“How is it that you are so damn cute?”

Their eyes meet again and a small smirk appears on Alec’s lips. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You wouldn't be you if doing the simplest of things makes you so damn adorable. It's what makes me-” Magnus chokes on his own words and quickly rights himself before he makes possibly one of the biggest mistakes he could ever with Alec. 

Alec raises an eyebrow at him with a curious expression on his face. “Makes you what?”

“Oh, nothing,” Magnus waves his hand and stands quickly. “Would you like something to drink? Some tea, perhaps?” Alec’s eyes follow Magnus as he floats around the loft in pure warlock fashion. Magnus can feel his eyes burrowing a hole in the back of his skull as he waves his hand over a tea cup to concoct something soothing for Alec. 

“Magnus…” Alec’s voice is pleading; a tone Magnus is not used to hearing from the Shadowhunter. He sighs and turns to find Alec oddly close to him. 

“Here.” Magnus hands Alec the small cup of china. “Soothe your nerves.”

“I’m fine.” Alec pauses. “You’re not.”

Magnus frowns. “Contrary to what people may think of me Alexander, I too have emotions and limits. I have exerted myself the past few days physically and emotionally just as you have. I have come to realize many things.”

“Like?”

Magnus frowns harder. “I find it extremely peculiar that you want me to be so forthright with my emotions and thoughts but I still never know what is going on in that mind of yours.”

“I...what? I literally turned my life upside down for you! I didn't marry Lydia, I told my parents about us...I...what else is it that you want from me?” Alec’s eyes blaze with anger. 

“Alec, you did those things for you. Not me.” Magnus reminds him. “I just helped you realize it.”

Alec swallows. 

“You stood here in this very spot and spewed accusations at me about how I flirt and use magic but I never really risk anything. But I do, Alexander. I did. I risked my heart. My future for you. I walked into your wedding ready to have my heart shattered into a million pieces. I never once believed I could actually have you. But you surprised me. You stepped down off that alter and you chose me. You chose your own happiness and in return giving me mine. And forgive me for having that be a bit overwhelming for me as well. Because honestly, Alec, now that I have you...I’m not quite sure what to do with you.”

Alec breathes heavily as Magnus speaks. His eyes flicker from surprise to confusion to sadness as Magnus floods the loft with his confession. When he finally speaks, as if he couldn't surprise Magnus anymore, the words that flow from his mouth make Magnus step back. 

“What do you want to do with me?”

“Alec...I don't believe we have come to that part of our...relationship,” Magnus waves his hand between them.”Where we can honest with each other about those kinds of things. At least I cannot. I’m not quite sure what it is you want yourself, Alec. I am just as guarded.”

Alec locks his gaze on Magnus. His expression strong, eyes narrowed. Precise. As if he is about to go out into battle. It takes Magnus’s breath away. 

“I don't want to see you hurt. I don't want your...heart broken because of me. I don't want to die...one day a long time from now, or maybe even tomorrow and have you have to live the rest of your life...in pain. Just from caring about me.”

Magnus is surprised by Alec’s outburst. But it explains so much. About the boy’s fears. His reservations, still, about them. 

“Alexander,” Magnus reaches out, brushing his glittered manicured hand over the boy’s cheek. “I would rather have one hour with you to live with, than not have you at all. Even if something were to happen to you after you leave here tonight, I would still have my memories of you. The way you awakened me. Made me feel something again. I’ll have our kiss. I’ll have your smile etched on my heart for always.”

Alec lets out a ragged breath. “And Camille?”

“What I felt for her, literally centuries ago, doesn’t hold one ounce of weight against how you make me feel. Of what, in such a short amount of time, I know if this continues or if it does not, will mean to me.”  
Alec says nothing and Magnus inhales and floats past him. “But I know you have a lot on your plate right now. Your parents, Lydia’s attack, Jace. There is a huge battle ahead of you with Valentine and I understand if what is going on between us perhaps needs to be put on hold for a while.” He looks over his shoulder at him. “Or snuffed out completely.”

“No,” Alec quickly answers. “I...need you. We need you. I...just don't know how this works. All I know is that when I’m next to you...I feel better. That when you’re not around I feel...empty. It's like…”

“A spell?”

Magnus turns to face him to find Alec nodding. “Is it?”

“No. Never. I would never use magic on you against your will. I will never lie to you. I will never deceive you. That's not the kind of relationship I want to have with you. I want you to trust me.”

“Do you trust me?”

“With my entire heart, Alexander.”

Magnus, who has been a warlock for a very long time, has never felt the electric spark in the room as heavy than after he speaks those words to Alec. Alec’s whole demeanor changes and the air is sucked out of the room as if by some supernatural force, without Magnus’s doing. The power makes him lose his breath and before he can even think to inhale, Alec’s mouth is on his. 

If Magnus thought the kiss in the church was intense, this kiss is making his insides quiver with need and excitement and a magic he has never felt before. His hands quickly move up to frame Alec’s face and when their tongues meet between parted lips, the recessed decorative lighting above their heads flicker then burst, scattering glass around their feet. 

Alec pulls back, eyes wide and pupils blown. He brushes a piece of the bulb off Magnus’s shoulder, Alec’s gaze never leaving the Warlocks. 

“That...was unexpected.” Magnus stutters out. 

Alec just smiles. 

“What are you doing to me, Alec Lightwood?” Magnus whispers, his fingertips gently caressing the smooth flushed skin on his cheeks. 

“I...you’re…”Alec lets out an exasperated sigh. “I can't think clearly when I’m around you. It's like you're in the room and all I can do is look at you and I need to be near you. I was sitting in my room tonight and I literally...it hurt because you weren't with me.”

“I know the feeling.” Magnus whispers. 

“How is this even possible? I barely know you.” Alec winces.

“You’ve lived your life in black and white for so long, Alexander. Right and wrong. Yes and no. You knew there was magic out there, you saw it and felt it every day when you were fighting a demon or something wretched. But until you met me you never got to see the beauty of it. How everyday things can be magical. How the connection between two people, as different as night and day, could just collide in such a confusing but perfect way.” Magnus brushes Alec’s wild black hair off his forehead. “I’ve seen some of the most beautiful landscapes, architecture, and art in this world. I’ve been on this earth and in between for so long I began to believe nothing could excite me anymore. But then I laid eyes on you and I felt like my life was beginning again.”

“You don't know me. You could get to, and you might not like me anymore.” Alec downcasts his eyes. 

“My sweet boy,” Magnus gently pushes his chin back up so he can see his eyes again. “That’s not possible. I’ve felt your energy. We’ve bonded in such an intimate way already. I know you feel it.”

“I do,” Alec admits. “I just don't understand it.”

“There are some things in this world we will never understand. Sometimes we just need to accept and let go.” 

Magnus can practically see the wheels inside Alec’s complicated mind turning as he mulls over the words Magnus has spoken to him. He blinks a few times; long lashes fluttering over pale skin. Magnus yearns to reach out and touch him, but he won't. Not unless Alec asks him to. He’s fragile and this needs to be at Alec’s pace no matter how badly Magnus needs him. 

“Okay?” Magnus finally asks.

Alec just nods. 

“Okay, good. So how about some tea to relax?” Magnus goes to turn back to tea set on his 17th-century gold table he feels Alec’s long fingers grip his elbow gently, turning him back to look at him. 

“Alec?” Magnus whispers. 

“Magnus...I...I want…” Alec sighs, and he's searching Magnus’s face for the words he is still either too embarrassed or hesitant to say. 

“Tell me, Alexander. I will give you anything you want. Just tell me you’re mine.” Magnus assures. 

Alec lets out his breath and closes his eyes, his fingers trembling on Magnus’s arm. “You. I just want you.”

“That’s all you had to say, my love.” Magnus pulls Alec against him, their mouths crushing together in a sea of moans. Magnus backs him up against the arm of the couch and Alec falls against it, grabbing at the front of Magnus’s satin robe to keep himself from falling. 

“Lie down, Alec,” Magnus tells him and Alec gives him a small nod before moving onto the couch and lying back. The hem of his shirt rides up, revealing his taught stomach muscles. Magnus' eyes scan over the exposed skin and Alec’s cheeks flush. 

Magnus wastes no time by climbing over the arm of the couch to settle himself leaning over Alec’s body. He sits back up on my heels as best he can and snakes a finger underneath the hem of Alec’s t-shirt. Alec huffs out a small moan and bites his lower lip.

Alec’s skin is soft and hot and Magnus’s hand pushes the rest of the fabric up revealing more pale warmth hiding underneath it. Alec makes a small ‘meep’ and Magnus stills to look into his eyes.

“Tell me to stop and I will.” Magnus promises. Alec looks down at Magnus’s hands sprawled across his stomach and swallows. 

“I…”

“You’re nervous. I know. But you need to talk to me, Alec. You need to tell me what your boundaries are.” Magnus whispers. He rubs his palms on Alec’s pale skin and the young man throws his head back, moaning, exposing the runes that run from his shoulder up his neck. All Magnus wants to do is leave his own marks on his skin. So that when Alec looks in the mirror he knows who he belongs to. 

“I feel like I’m gonna…” Alec chokes out. He can barely breathe or comprehend words and Magnus has barely touched him yet. But he realizes not that he didn't know this upon meeting Alec, but it's never been more evident than in this moment, that Alec has never been touched before. Magnus can't help but smile. 

“Cum?”

Alec’s eyes widen and he stiffens; his chest heaving. “Magnus…”

“Tell me to stop.”

“NO! Don’t...I...by the angel…” Alec's hips buck up, seeking, what Magnus knows he isn't sure of himself. Instead, he just runs his hands up and down the abs on Alec’s stomach watching as he pants and writhes underneath his touches. Magnus can practically see Alec’s heartbeat pumping through his chest and when Magnus’s fingers make a feathery trail over Alec’s hard nipples, Alec yells and groans and Magnus feels the heat underneath him from Alec’s groin. 

Alec’s neck muscles strain as he comes down from his orgasm and Magnus leans down to press his lips to his before he can open his eyes. Alec’s mouth opens eagerly to him and Magnus sucks on his tongue as Alec pants heavily as his body shudders from the aftershock. 

Magnus brushes the hair off Alec’s forehead and waits as Alec comes back to himself slowly. When those brown eyes finally show themselves again Magnus frowns at the embarrassment and shame he sees in them. 

“You have nothing to be ashamed of.” Magnus scolds him almost too forcefully. Alec turns his head away and squeezes his eyes shut. 

“I...I didn't mean to…” Alec stutters over his words and tries to push Magnus off him as he attempts to sit up. 

“No. Stop. Alexander.” Magnus holds him down gently. “Listen to me. Listen. You did nothing wrong. Do you have any idea how beautiful and sexy that was? That just touching you so gently made you feel that good?”

Alec slowly turns to look at him. “No one...I…”

“I know, darling. I know.” Magnus caresses his cheek. “It's okay. We are going to take our time. With everything. I promise.”

Alec lets out his held breath and intertwines his fingers with Magnus’s on his cheek. “I don't get how you can be so understanding. How someone like you could possibly want someone like me.”

“From now on I’m not going to let you believe or feel that you are less than as amazing as you. Strong. Brave. Brilliant. Beautiful. Inside and out.” Magnus lets up a little on Alec’s lap and pulls him up to a sitting position next to him. “Now. Tea?”

“Yes. Please. I’m just gonna go get...you know…” Alec motions towards the bathroom, his cheeks beginning to burn red again. “I’m just gonna go to the bathroom.”

Magnus stands, outstretching his arms toward the hall. “If you would like a pair of pants to relax in you are welcome to anything in my wardrobe.”

“I...right. Okay. Thank you.” Alec almost bumps into the wall as he watches Magnus and he makes his way toward the bathroom. Alec smirks at him as he rubs the pesky wall with his hand and closes the bathroom door gently behind him. 

Magnus holds his hand to his erratic heartbeat and closes his eyes as he inhales the scent of Alec all around him and his loft. 

Maybe this boy would not break his heart.


End file.
